New Hope has provided me with a wonderful opportunity to use my own loss to help others through my writing. This month I am going to share my own story of how the loss of my mother, Ruth Leary, in 2007 and the ABC television program “Secret Millionaire” led me to the doors of New Hope Grief Support Community in 2012 and helped to change my immediate life.
Before I continue, I would like to tell you a little about myself. I have two sisters, Kerry and Katie, and grew up in the city of Orange. I currently live in Long Beach just blocks from the beach and I love to write. As you will soon see, Long Beach will play a major role in how I ended up at New Hope.
I lost my mother in 2007 and it was extremely hard as her and I we’re extremely close. I saw her every day when I was living in Cypress, where I lived before I moved to Long Beach in 2008. She was not only my mother, but also my best friend. Her death was quite unexpected, and she was still quite young, only 75 years old when she died. When she was first diagnosed with bladder cancer, the doctors were still very hopeful that she would pull through. But within days we went from planning her recovery to planning her funeral. She actually ended up going into septic shock and we had to make the decision of taking her off life support. The loss was made even worse by the fact that I had just lost my dad in 2003, so in just four short years I suddenly found myself without both my parents.
After my mom passed away, I discovered that many of my friends had also suffered the loss of both parents, some in even a shorter span that I did. I suddenly found myself trying to use my loss to help others get through their loss and move forward. This gave me an idea that helping others in grief support might be my calling. Now it was just a matter of finding the opportunities. And the opportunities would soon be coming my way.
Since “Secret Millionaire” played a major part in my finding out about New Hope, I would like to share a little of that story. When I tuned into the show in July of 2012, Hilary DeCesare, the Founder of Everloop was the featured millionaire. I looked forward to her being in my home city of Long Beach looking for deserving non-profits. As Hilary visited New Hope and talked to its Executive Director, Sue Beeney, I just knew that this was an organization that I had to be involved with—it was right in my own backyard! As I saw the recovery process in action with the Alonso family on the episode and how New Hope helped them get through the loss of their son, Christian, I was reduced to tears. I could not find good grief support when I lost my parents, and to not just know of the existence of this very special organization, but also to see such a focus on recovery and moving forward, I knew I had to get in touch with them as soon as possible
Within days after the show had aired, I found myself meeting the very special people that make up New Hope. When I met Sue she was exactly how I saw her on “Secret Millionaire” such a passionate and caring person whose mission is to provide grief support for the masses at no cost. I shared with Sue how excited I was that New Hope was the big winner on “Secret Millionaire” and that my own personal experience with not finding good grief support made me very aware of just how important their organization was. I wanted to take all the pain that was associated with the loss of my mom and put it towards something positive and I knew then that New Hope would give me that chance.
Initially, I started out by volunteering at several of their fundraising events in the city. Just doing this and being able to volunteer my time to an organization that was so close to my heart was a blessing. Sue knew I was a writer, and she saw a greater calling for me with New Hope. When she offered me the opportunity to write stories for New Hope’s e-newsletter, The Collage, I jumped at the chance. I started writing the e-newsletter last year, and it has been such a wonderful experience for me. I know my mother would be proud and that her joy for life lives through me in my writing.
It has been such a heartwarming experience for me to not just talk with people that have lost, but then to share their experiences with others. Because I too have lost, I feel that this acts as a bond and a very personal connection between me and those who I write the stories about rather than a sad reminder of my own loss. My very special work at New Hope has helped me to get through what is traditionally a very hard month for me, as March was the month that my mom and dad passed away.
I would like to take this opportunity to personally thank all those that have shared their stories with me, because this is the essence of what makes New Hope and The Collage so special. I am so proud of all who have opened up not just with me, but in their own personal experiences with New Hope. Recovery is that much easier when you are doing it with others who have also lost. A common thing I have also found in my stories is how many people want to celebrate the life of their loved one and not the loss.
I feel very special that my mom was such an important part of my life, and none of that goes away with her passing. She lives on in my writing for this very special organization called New Hope Grief Support Community.